As I get ready for this new school year, I am reading about how God keeps His promises... even when it doesn't seem like it will work out - He does it. I am praying that this year I can be kind and loving and patient with the students in my classroom. I know that I can teach them what they need to learn to move onto first grade, but my hope is that I can do it with loving-kindness.

Yesterday, I really had to pray several times as I found out that I am going to be teaching a child with down syndrome. That scares me, because I don't know what to do. I have taught my fair share of behavior problems, ADHD students & emotionally disturbed kids. I kind of have it figured out... and then I get thrown a curve ball that I wasn't expecting. Yesterday when I started getting anxious like I normally would, I had to stop for a minute and remind myself that God put each of these kids in my classroom. He is in control of this situation and I am not. Isn't it in situations where we feel we don't have it figured out that we need to rely on the Lord.

So, I am praying and trusting God instead of believing in myself.

Psalm 46

Wow, what power in these words: Psalm 46 - NKJV: 1-7

God is our refuge and strength,

A very present help in trouble.

- I read this and I think about this past year with any of the troubles I went through. I did not make God my refuge & therefore I didn't feel His presence - but it didn't make Him any less present.

Therefore we will not fear,

Even though the earth be removed,

And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

Though its waters roar and be troubled,

Though the mountains shake with its swelling.

There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God.

The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High

- despite the chaos of life, there is this peace that is supplied through our Lord.

God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;

God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.

The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;

He uttered His voice, the earth melted.

- He uttered His voice... an utterance, a sound which can be bound by silence... He is so powerful that He contained his voice, lest the earth melt. He is so powerful that just a sound released from His lips causes the earth to melt. He is so mighty He can do this... and yet I wonder if He can provide for me... I think logically, I know He CAN - but I doubt at times if He WILL...

The Lord of hosts is with us;

The God of Jacob is our refuge.

- This answers my earlier doubt... He is with us... He is our refuge.

A little Prayer

Tonight, Kaleigha was telling me how hard it was to obey, so I told her a very small version of the gospel and a kid version of what sin is. So then she said, Mommy, I want to pray.

And here were her words: Dear God, Please make my heart clean. Please let me go to Heaven. Amen. Oh wait, Dear God, please help me to grow big. Amen.

Not sure what your thoughts are about when a child can be saved, but I wanted to make sure to record her little prayer, because it was so sweet.

Joy

Do you ever feel like the joy has slipped right out of you? I think that is what has happened to me over time. My joy has slipped through my fingers like sand... and while it was simply small pieces of sand - a little bit here and a little bit there I don't think that I truly noted what was occurring. Until one day, you look at your hand and realize there really isn't a whole lot there. What was once full and overflowing is just a small teaspoon of granules.

So, now I am on a journey to get my joy back. Oh, I have been happy at times during this... my husband is wonderful, our girls are such blessings, my family and friends are great, we both have good jobs and we live in a beautiful house, we have food and clothing and extra things as well. Notice what is missing? Jesus. The giver of Joy. I have neglected my love for Him. My head still calls him Lord, but that is not the same tune of my heart.

I remember an analogy when I was in high school at a retreat. The speaker showed us a jar and demonstrated how if you put the small things in first, the big & important things do not fit. That's where I have been. Trying to jam so many things in & not stopping to put the most important thing into my jar - my relationship with God. So, I keep looking at my jar and wondering why? Why am I not feeling peaceful? Why am I not feeling joy? So, I am praying for this to change & for God to change my heart towards Him.